13.02.2020
I have a complicated relationship with V Day because it functions as an early warning system for my birthday, rendering it a one two punch for the gifting averse. A quite frankly dreadful quality to discover in any lover, they who cannot give.
Back last century it was my anniversary for a decade and it still reminds me smiling of my first true love. The man who made me a mother - and let me beat him at shuffleboard on this day about a hundred months pregnant and the size of a baby shaped house. Right before the birth of our son on what is now known as our birthday.
Valentines Day is named for the 5th century saint who used to marry couples in secret and was brutally murdered for his trouble. Terribly romantic unless you are St Valentine and his hung drawn and quartered heart. The celebration Hallmark nicked and beat up into V Day was originally the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia. Wear the fox hat for two days of feasting and merrymaking and fertility rites celebrated in mid February.
This V day malarkey is a giant flashing arrow above your relationship status but beyond that, it points to your yearning. A too often dismissed longing that gets traded for rationalisations and false gratitude. Yearning is potent and powerful when acknowledged. It magnetises your desire and pulls its counterpoint towards you. Let yourself have and hold what your heart longs for - without trashing the dream with your fears - and so it will arrive.
The truth is more than a year ago I threw "love" out of my house for very good reason and fled a safe distance away. And in my recovering from that awful damage, as I balmed my tender tremoring heart in blessed solitude, other truer loves stepped forward to catch me. My beautiful family, solid as a rock. My wolf pack, a stunning clutch of women who regularly walk through fire and towards me. And the littlest witchling I know, whose magical blue eyes and fierce fairie heart have dried the tears in mine.
Though you may not know it, each and every one of you darklings too. A kind word or a shared vulnerability or a good laugh has been the very best medicine for my heart. It held me up and kept me writing, which saved me.
Thank you my loves, this V Day is for you.
Image of Endora invoking its universal symbol, witches honour
Words c. Kerrie Basha 2020