Freewheelin’ Son Of A Witch

I am fairly sure that it was only a hop skip and a jump back in time that my baby son was placed in my arms and I locked eyes with a face I would come to know better than any other. Today that great little love of mine jumped on a train bound for the big smoke, bag in hand and stars in eyes.For most of his life and a great chunk of mine it has just been me and him. We have a bond beyond our shared birth date and sense of humour, one forged as a tiny family unit. For the best part of my adult years, it has been keeping life together for this kid that has kept me together.Oh that boy of mine all grown up now. He was always going to shoot out into the big wide world like a cannonball. He has so very much to offer and so many things to do. Can you ever prepare for these next steps? When he started school with his giant blue bag on his back, everything oversized making him seem so tiny, there were no tears from him. He was ready and he couldn’t wait. Today as he strode up the station stairs two at a time with another enormous backpack jammed full of his bedroom and a beaming bubbling excitement, the tears again were only mine. It seems ridiculous to feel this unprepared for his leaving now that he has gone, even as I had the sense that it was going to wallop me more than I thought. I guess that is the nature of time and how it passes in our lives. Every little day runs together until suddenly a whole chunk is spent.Last night we sat outside and watched the sun set over the paddock where we have spent his high school years. With our talking cat on his lap (the one he raised as a dog), he told me how he would miss this paddock, our animals, this house, this place. We spoke of when we moved in here and how it struck us both, even before it became a much cherished home. We talked about his plans to become a music producer and the two year fast track he starts on Tuesday that will take him there. His ideas about where he wants to live and go, be and do. What he might do for work and for fun. We laughed about how soon he will pop back up to see us all. And as we did a majestic black cockatoo swooped into the bush beside us and landed on a tree stump very close by, making his presence felt.The cocky sat with us as we talked, moving once between trees with effortless grace and that giant yellow flecked wing span. Being the son of a witch, my boy knows his mumma and her ways all too well and not an eyebrow was raised when I looked for the message of the appearance of the cockatoo. I read it to us both, tears in eyes and lump in throat.The black cockatoo brings with it a powerful message of spiritual and emotional freedom to the one who is ready to listen to the extraordinary rhythm of its mighty wings, as it powers through the air with ease and grace. Its wailing screech sends a vibration of joy across the cosmos … a liberating joy … a joyous cry of freedom. Black cockatoo is here to help you find your spiritual truths and to use these to stretch onwards and upwards to reach your dreams and goals. It is here to bring you happiness and contentment on the journey. It knows that it can be, at times, a challenge to let go and fly free, but it is here to help you rekindle you passion and fervour for all you love to do and to help you journey with joy. The possibilities of unrealised inner and outer wealth is another message brought by black cockatoo. Both of these will help you bring about much change in your life and assist others to do the same. Close you eyes and see the black cockatoo winging its way into your life. You are so loved.He is and he will. I am and I will. This next turn of our wheel is a day I have wondered and dreamed about for so long. It was the freedom for us both that I could smell on the breeze blowing our way. When he was little he used to tell me, with those tiny hands clasped firmly around my neck that he would live with me always. And I would tell him with the proud ache that only a mother knows that he would not, that instead he would want to venture out into the big wide world and find his own house and make his own way. I remember so well that fervent little shake of his head and the solemn look in his eye when he told me that I was wrong.I am inordinately proud of the young man he has become. I am too so proud of the job we have done as parents. As a baby I hoped he would be smart and funny, confident and caring, relaxed and open to everything the world was going to lay at his feet. When he started school I hoped he would make friends that he would walk through life with and have his mind fired by the world of books and learning. When he hit his senior years I just hoped we would get through it together and he could enjoy that time without responsibility before the have-to’s of adult life kicked in.And now we are there and he is all of those things and so very much more.Childhood is so fleeting when you are a parent. You count in days and then weeks and then months and then suddenly all the years have zoomed by and your baby is driving your car and playing in bands and has a world all of his own. This fine evening I miss the sound of him and his mates playing games and whooping with each other on Skype. Tomorrow morning I may even long for that infernal alarm clock, the one he can still sleep through that wakes me from the other end of the house. Maybe I’ll wish for crumbs all over the bench top and miss hunting for glasses under his bed. But tonight, I just miss him in the house and the way it has been for the last eighteen years.As parents it is our job to let go, little by little. Our kids have to find their own way and carve their own niche and make their own mistakes with our unwavering support and judgement withheld, knowing we are there to catch them if they need us. Failure is one of our greatest teachers and when you’re young, resilience ensures that it is not fatal to your spirit. Those wonder years of young adult life are intoxicating and they shape you in a way that life at home cannot.So this evening through misty eyes I light candles for his smooth passage into the real world and raise a glass to my remarkable son. Here’s looking at you, kid xxx

The black cockatoo’s message is by Geraldine Teggelove and her Messages from Nature Spirit, found at her website todaysnotetoself.com .