Gothic calendar by Middle Eastern high fashion retailer Splash

Not all days are diamonds Bohemians, no they’re not.During the deep dark moon balsamic dredge we are wading through right now, it is only natural that muggles will be acting out all over the place. Poor little poppets, they know not what they do. Amidst the crapola, the criticism or the diva-esque behaviour, it is handy to remember that even they are still probably doing the best they can. No easy task when you have already begun to plot their demise. And as with most of the people that get right up in our face or completely under our skin (like a fungal infection rather than like moonbeams or the first flush of love) they have provided us with an opportunity to do more than just stew.When strong energy like this hits, we are challenged beyond the dance of the planets. Everybody say hello to their shadow, chomping at the bit to leap out from behind you as soon as it sees a crack. So much of our fear and our bad behaviour is tucked away here, biding its time and just waiting until we are poked or prodded. When we think we have no other option but to react, to lash out, to demean or degrade we have already lost. And there’s worse to come – the self recrimination, the regret, the collateral damage, the excuses. The thing is, we always have choices no matter what story we concoct to justify ourselves.So how do you handle this foul nastiness, their vile criticism? Are you compassionate? Do you walk away? I hear crickets Bohemians so I don’t think I am alone in saying this: I am notoriously awful at it. I don’t do hurt very well. I want to leap to my own defence immediately if not sooner. I get angry – but not that white hot seething, more like the kind that has tears just waiting in the wings. Beyond that I feel misunderstood, unheard and unseen. I cannot bear injustice in any form so automatically my inner self righteous (yes, yes, self serving) crusader dons her well worn armour and draws her sword. The big one. Then she tends to wave it around a lot while ranting and raving in an increasingly hysterical fashion that leads to a quavering voice and complete loss of credibility, even if her point was a good one. I can do it for far too long, hours, kilometres. By the time I am empty, I am so very sad and must then retreat. The drawbridge goes up. Alligators in the moat and I release the hounds. You know, because they need the exercise. This rollercoaster plunges through my body and I feel it in my joints, my heart, my spinning head.Recovery from this lonely, sorry place became my first step to meeting my shadow half way. I learnt how to pick myself up and do kind things with myself and her evil twin. We all head outside. We sit in the sun if we can. We turn off everything that lets the world in and reconnect with the real world of trees, sky, water. My lovely animals with their deep soulful eyes and unlimited kisses. Beautiful non judgmental beings all, who are infinitely forgiving and happy to let me pour it all out. They can take it.When I am feeling brave and good and strong, I peek under the cloak of my shadow and bit by bit I am unpacking her, pulling the pins from her body and the thorns from her face. I know now that every time some [insert your favourite expletive here] challenges me with what is ultimately their dark side, I am being given another go at rescinding the spikes of mine.This is maybe why it could take the rest of my life. But She doesn’t frighten me anymore. There’s parts of Her I really like – they protect me, they serve me and ultimately they love me. I do feel like we can at least go out and have a civil drink together every now and then, and a laugh too.I just make mine a double.